Hey! Long time, no blog. It’s been over eight months since I have made a public post to my blog. And the last post I made was about being in a serious funk. So, I know you’re thinking that I must’ve relapsed or, at the very least, I’m not doing too well in life. But actually, I’m proud to say that the total opposite is true. Despite all of the craziness in the world, my life has become absolutely amazing since eight months ago. I just had to get real with myself about my priorities and do some reorganization. While I was struggling pretty mightily last fall, I was never in real danger of relapse or going back to my old life. There were times a drink sounded good to help numb out and take the feelings away, but I have enough experience with that to know where it truly leads. Instead, I was patient with myself for once and took a break from my own chaos to evaluate what I needed to do to improve my situation. I began seeking a new job while doubling down on my recovery tools, counseling, and overcoming the ongoing gambling problem that I had developed. I knew I needed to cut out all of the stressors and just focus on me for a while. That included taking a lengthy break from social media and stopping from forcing myself to write for an audience. I’ve still been writing over the past eight months, it’s a huge part of my recovery, but it’s just been for the audience of myself.
During that process of self-evaluation, two life-changing events happened. I ended up getting offered a new job in the e-commerce field with a local company (my commute to work went from 35 minutes to 5 minutes). And, I was officially diagnosed with Adult ADHD. Now, either of these events would have been life-changing on their own but, in typical Mike fashion, I began my new job and started my new medication for the ADHD in the same week. I knew it was a lot and was a big deal, but I had no idea how much my life would change for the better.
Let me talk about the new job real quick, first. I am now an E-commerce Content Associate with a leading online seller of replacement parts for outdoor power equipment (mowers, tractors, loaders, boats, etc.). I’ve been there about seven months now and love it. The company I work for and people I work with are absolutely amazing! I have never been happier to be employed, which is a big deal for me. The job is a great blend of my previous skills and interests. Having a real, stable income for the first time in a long time has been awesome. The entire situation has just been a huge blessing.
Now, for the diagnosis. I was plodding along with life just trying to figure things out and get a new job when my doctor, nurse, and counselor at the treatment center had a conversation and decided they were all seeing the same signs in me. I had talked about my restlessness and lack of focus with each of them individually in the past, but for whatever reason had not seriously considered that I needed any kind of official diagnosis. Once they brought it all up and we did some official testing, it became super obvious that I struggled with the common symptoms. I was prescribed a new medication to help improve my focus and once I started it, it became crystal clear to me that this has been a problem my entire life. It’s like I found the piece of myself that has been missing my whole life. For the first time, I can fully process my thoughts. I’m still me and my thoughts are still rapid fire, but I can process and sort them out better. I have a new found energy, focus, and confidence.
So, that was the combination of events that changed my life and allowed me to completely reset my priorities. Once I got away from all of the stress that was going on in life and these two things happened, I went into a full-on focus of getting my life where I wanted it to be. I began organizing every aspect of my life including priorities, goals, and finances. I focused a LOT of time and energy on getting off to a great start at my new job and working to best of my abilities. I saved, planned, analyzed, and adjusted everything as needed. I really don’t know how else to describe the past eight months other than life-changing. It’s just a testament of a desire to improve my life that outweighed the struggles I encountered along the way.
That doesn’t mean I don’t still have bad or down days, I just know how to handle them better and know without a doubt that going back to my past habits will not solve or help with anything that I want to achieve. I have faith that things always get better if I choose the right path. I have confidence in the tools I have developed to help me through my recovery and in my ability to recognize the correct decision to make when I’m not feeling my best. That confidence comes from the support that I have around me and track record of success I’ve had in my nearly 2.5 years of sobriety. No matter what I’m struggling with or how shitty things are at a certain moment, there is always something to be proud of. It’s just about being kind to myself and giving myself credit for the things I accomplish, no matter how big or small.
Anyway, that’s what has been up with me. I felt like I needed to share a little personal update before getting into my plans for this blog and OWN Sobriety. My next post will dive into the future of all that.
What’s been up with you? Let me know in the comments, send me a message or share on social media.
As always, take care of yourself!